If I had a daughter...

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The topic this month is "Three Things My Daughter Must Know About Her Marital Needs," which is quite a mouthful, especially considering I don't even have a daughter. But eMom has assured me I don't have to have a real daughter to participate.

My first piece of advice is to learn the art of logic. If you can explain your point of view clearly and logically, instead of emotionally, you'll find it's a lot easier to communicate with your husband. Now, my husband is an engineer, so this might be more true for him than for some men, but in general men don't make decisions based on emotion (unless it's buying a car). So once you've presented the logical side of your argument, you can lead into the emotional side, and he's a lot more likely to listen and understand.

The second thing I think I would tell my daughter is not to go into marriage with a stranger. Take the time to talk, a lot, before you get married. Know where your partner stands on all the important things in life: religious beliefs, politics, ethics and morality, certainly, but also such earth-shattering topics as which way the t.p. should roll and whether he prefers cats or dogs. Hubby and I went to college in two very separate states, and spent many hours talking on the phone, and while I don't recommend six years of separation to most people, I certainly knew exactly who I was marrying when I said "I do."

And finally, I would tell her to never let the honeymoon be over. Make a list of all the reasons you married him and read it weekly, if that helps. Hang out with him. Let him know you want to be with him. Hold hands when you're out in public. Show him you appreciate him. Don't talk bad about him to other people - it's none of their business. Stay a little bit starry-eyed where your husband's concerned. He'll notice and respond in kind.