The labor pains

You know that old saying, "Don't tell me about the labor pains, just show me the baby?" Well, I'm not about to show you my gall bladder (sorry, TKW), so you'll just have to hear about the surgery. Actually, I was asleep for that, so I'll just tell you what I remember.

The hospital was ridiculously cold. Of course, I had to strip down and put on one of those hospital gowns, but even with the blanket they gave me, I was cold. No one seemed to care until the nurse noticed my fingernails were blue! Then they brought me a heated blanket.

Every person who talked to me asked me what the doctor would be doing for me today. I know they have to, but honestly, by the fifth person I felt like giving them a totally off-the-wall answer. "Oh, I'm here for a tummy tuck and butt lift." Just to see what they'd do.

When I woke up afterward, I was in really severe pain. And I had one of those nurses - you know, the ones that know how you feel better than you do? I told her my pain was a 9 out of 1o. She gave me morphine. A few minutes later it was still a 9. SHE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME. "Oh, that's not possible. I gave you medicine." When it was time, she gave me more. I still hurt, but I was willing to drop it to an 8.

Then she says to me, "Well, you're not staying overnight." Like it's her decision. The doctor already told me that if I felt I needed to, I could stay. Oh, that woman made me mad! Finally she had given me the most she was allowed to and I actually did feel a bit better, so she wheeled me to recovery 2.

Hubby came back and we got all the instructions for the week. I got dressed, noticing that I had five holes and lots of bandages. And I slept most of the rest of the day. So far, so good, right? Oh, no. The worst was yet to come...