A one-day-before-my-birthday rant

Hypothetically, if you were going to threaten to take your landlord to court for something, do you think you would perhaps check the lease you signed first to see whether or not the landlord was within her rights? I think a reasonable person would.

Of course Fred and Ethel unreasonable people would call and leave hostile phone messages merely because the landlord has returned their October rent checks (they paid last month in advance) along with a note saying they will get their deposit back within 30 days after they move out. Hey, idiot, you signed a lease that says I have 30 days to get it back to you. How stupid would I have to be to give your money back before I inspect the house for damage? If we weren't going to be on vacation then, I would definitely wait the entire 30 days.

I'd actually kind of like them to take us to court for this. They would have to pay $100 or more in court fees to have the judge laugh at them. And really, according to the lease, if they break any of the rules, we're not required to give them back one penny. Which, if they were to take me to court, I would love to point out.

I now know 100% for sure that Jill has been telling the truth all along (not that I really doubted) and these people are nuts. Especially since, hypothetically, they're the type of people who would slash their own tire to try to get their neighbor in trouble. Hypothetically.