Stop breathing - I'm trying to sleep

When I became a mother, I lost the ability to sleep soundly. It seems no matter how tired I am, I am awakened by the slightest sound. Well, that's not entirely true. I can sleep through wind, rain, thunderstorms, dogs barking, cows mooing, and insects chirping if I'm tired enough. And I actually tend to sleep better if there's a little bit of ambient noise going on (I even used one of those white noise machines until it started talking to me, but that's another story).

No, it's not the random nighttime noises that bother me. It's the human and dog sounds in the house that keep me up. The boys sleep across the hallway from us, and the 2 year old has a monitor in his room through which we can hear him. Last night, I turned on our air cleaner (which makes white noise and helps my allergies) and went to sleep. But I was awakened in the middle of the night. The dog was breathing again.

Don't get me wrong - I like my dog, for the most part. Now that Hubby has mounted our trash cans four feet off the floor and she can't raid them when we're not home, I like her even more. But she breathes SO loud! Not just breathing, but panting. I woke up and all I could hear was "huh-huh-huh-huh" on and on and on. I tried rolling away, but Hubby was breathing, too! Just when I got him to roll over and breathe quieter, the 2 year old started breathing loud over the monitor.

I think I need one of those soundproof rooms, the kind they put game show contestants in to keep them from hearing what's happening outside. Yep, just make me a horizontal soundproof room, and I'll sleep in there.

Or earplugs. I guess earplugs could work...