Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Brain cloud

I have been feeling very odd lately. Well, not just lately. I think ever since we got back from China, I haven't quite been able to get myself back on track. Writing, blogging, or in any other way.

You remember the movie "Joe Versus the Volcano" where Tom Hanks is told he has a brain cloud? [for those who don't, it's not a real thing - the doctor made it up to scare the character Joe - it's very convoluted - just go rent the movie]. That's how I feel. Like I have a brain cloud. Everything is just fuzzy and not quite right.

Even though my time spent online has greatly diminished, I don't feel like I've been getting much done around the house. I go though all the necessary motions, but I don't feel fully engaged in many of them. It's bizarre.

It's not depression. I've dealt with depression before and this isn't it.

Maybe I need a French word like malaise or ennui to describe it.

It's like there's this huge gap between all the things I really want to do and being able to summon the motivation to actually do them. Maybe I need to get more organized. Maybe I need more sleep. Exercise? That could be it.

See, this post is just like my brain right now. Random, scattered, disorganized, chaotic. Maybe I need a few days on a tropical island with orange-soda-drinking natives?


  1. Hey Jana, I have felt like that before. There could be any number of things to cause that - my first thought is, did you pick up a parasite or something in China? Just a thought! It would seem there must be some connection if you were fine before China and are not so fine now. I'll be praying for you to get guidance on this!

  2. I've felt like that all year long!

  3. I think your brain is processing all the experiences from China. That brain cloud is going to turn into a thunderstorm of poetic genius. Once your brain has organized all the cool new things from which it can draw creative goodies you'll be back to writing, cleaning, everything with gusto!