Brain cloud

I have been feeling very odd lately. Well, not just lately. I think ever since we got back from China, I haven't quite been able to get myself back on track. Writing, blogging, or in any other way.

You remember the movie "Joe Versus the Volcano" where Tom Hanks is told he has a brain cloud? [for those who don't, it's not a real thing - the doctor made it up to scare the character Joe - it's very convoluted - just go rent the movie]. That's how I feel. Like I have a brain cloud. Everything is just fuzzy and not quite right.

Even though my time spent online has greatly diminished, I don't feel like I've been getting much done around the house. I go though all the necessary motions, but I don't feel fully engaged in many of them. It's bizarre.

It's not depression. I've dealt with depression before and this isn't it.

Maybe I need a French word like malaise or ennui to describe it.

It's like there's this huge gap between all the things I really want to do and being able to summon the motivation to actually do them. Maybe I need to get more organized. Maybe I need more sleep. Exercise? That could be it.

See, this post is just like my brain right now. Random, scattered, disorganized, chaotic. Maybe I need a few days on a tropical island with orange-soda-drinking natives?

What's new with you?

It's awfully quiet around here, isn't it?

I went on a two-day trip down to Florida last week and got to see my parents, my bro, and my grandmother. It was a really nice vacation and I came back feeling so rested, I felt like I'd been gone for a week.

Now it's back to the craziness of my life. Things are going well with school this year. The two younger boys are both learning to read (and actually, the four year old is picking it up faster than the six year old). I spend about an hour a day with each of them. The older two need to put more time in, and it's been hard getting back in the swing since I was gone for over a month and then sick for so much of January. We'll get there, though.

I've been put on the ballot of my local homeschool association for the position of Head of Development or something like that. If I'm elected, that won't start until June. I would be the person new homeschoolers would call for advice and information, among other duties. I told them I already do that, so I'd be happy to do it "officially."

So that's what's new from here.

A proposition

I've come to a conclusion: laundry is by far my favorite household chore. And you can imagine how much laundry four boys and two adults generate. I just genuinely enjoy doing it.

My least favorite chore? Scrubbing the floors. Because even though I have my handy Scooba robot to do some of them, and my beloved Hoover Floormate for the day-to-day cleaning, I can never keep up. The floor is always dirty.

So here's the deal: I will come do your laundry if you will come scrub my floors.

What do you say?

Why I will one day be a good grandmother

Last week it was too much water, this week it was too little. Our other tenant called last evening and said they had no water. So we spent the evening running to the store and then sitting at her house while Hubby fixed the water.

This couple has a new baby, only two months old, and what a doll he is! I held him for the longest time and he just grinned and gurgled at me. My favorite thing was that I could hand him back to his mom when he got fussy. Yeah, I don't miss the infant days. A lot of women might have gotten baby fever from being that close to a sweet little bundle like him, but not me! I just kept thinking better her than me!

Somebody asked the other day if we were going to try for a girl (one of the most annoying questions in the world, by the way). My standard answer is that if someone else wants to be pregnant this time, I'll be happy to try for a girl. I'm going to add to that. She also has to arrive sometime after her fifth birthday. I'm not exactly fond of the toddler years, either.

I think one day I'll make a really good grandmother. When I can cuddle and love on the babies and then hand them back to their mothers. That sounds good to me.

He returns!

Hubby gets home from China tonight! Hooray! I can't even begin to describe how much I've missed him. We're going to take a couple of days and go down to Colonial Williamsburg. They have homeschool days there. Admission is really cheap - just right for us right now.

And now, off to do school for today!

So very, very unfair

Hubby left yesterday morning at 6 a.m. for China. He just checked into his hotel at 1 p.m. That's 32 hours of travel. It's now 3 a.m. there and hopefully he's asleep.

I don't envy the length of his trip, but boy am I jealous of him traveling. He's doing three of my very favorite things: traveling by plane, staying in a hotel, and eating out every meal of the day. Meanwhile, what am I doing? Going to orthodontist appointments and soccer practices, picking fleas off a kitten, and endlessly cleaning up after four rowdy boys.

Sigh.

A landlord is...

Hubby's trip to China got delayed until Wednesday - hooray! He'll be getting home just in time for a trip we had planned to Williamsburg. They have special homeschool days in Colonial Williamsburg for a fraction of what you'd normally pay for admission.

I'm going to take my camera over to the rental house next time we go, so I can show you all the work we've done. You won't believe how nice it looks. I don't believe how much time it took, but then when you do everything yourself, it takes longer.

Hubby was commenting to me yesterday that a landlord really has to wear many hats. A landlord is:

• a manager
• a babysitter
• a painter
• a handyman
• a carpet installer
• a complaints department
• a detective
• a collections department
• an accountant

And those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I'm seriously thinking about writing a book on being a landlord. Even in the short decade we've been doing it, we've learned a LOT. Mostly because we've made a LOT of mistakes. But if our stupidity can help other people, I guess it's worth it.

Stretched thin

Have you ever felt totally out of sorts? Not at all normal, and not sure how to get back to feeling normal again? With everything that's been happening, I just can't seem to get a grip on my own reality right now.

Life is busy happening around me and I feel like a spectator. There is too much to be done and too little time and energy and I can't get a handle on it, so I just shut down.

Yesterday, for example, my cat had a swollen face and a temperature of 105. He was so hot I could feel the heat radiating off of him from two inches away (Normal for a cat is 100, BTW). While I was dealing with that, I got a call from a tenant that they had no water. So Hubby had to go deal with that after work.

Today we had an orthdontist appt, and this afternoon the three older boys have their yearly doctor's visit. And looming over all of this is that other rental house, which still has so much work left to be done it makes me sick. I feel, as Bilbo says, like butter scraped over too much bread.

And we won't even talk about Hubby possibly going to China for three weeks starting on the 26th. My brain can't allow that information in right now.

Summer is NOT for vacation here, folks!

Somehow, summer is half gone and I seem to have missed it. I guess the two weeks of recovery time cut into my recreation a little. Anyway, two weeks from Monday is our annual stint at summer day camp, with Hubby and I teaching and the boys all participating. After that it will be August - August already!

Here are the things I've been meaning to do this summer that I still haven't done:

• Fill up the pool
• Spread out the new slip 'n' slide and test it (not myself)
• Finish landscaping at least one area of the yard (many areas in states of partial completion, no one area yet actually complete)
• Purchase all materials needed for next school year
• Begin planning of next school year
• Start an indoor herb garden
• Finish spring cleaning (most of first floor done, part of it now needs redone)

Today I'm feeling somewhat okay, so I might actually get the vacuum out and see how I feel pushing it around. Or maybe I'll offer to pay one of the boys to do it.

{{Sigh}} Summer always ends too soon.

As random as my day so far

Three days from now I will minus one gall bladder. I talked to a lady at church who had her gall bladder out a few years back, and she said she ran a marathon two weeks later. I don't, however, think those two things are related. I expect I'll be just as unlikely to want to exercise next month as I am now.

Hey, is anybody else's Disney Store closing? I was in the mall this morning, and they were selling off everything but the decorations. How sad. I always thought of it as my little slice of Disney World for when I couldn't go to Florida. I got a good deal on some Cars undies, though, so the three year old is happy.

We also saw one of the free family movies at the theater this morning. It was Evan Almighty. I really enjoyed it. The kids all liked it, too. Any movie that can entertain a 12 year old and a 3 year old is pretty good in my book.

I still have a list of things I need to do by Thursday. And now, on top of everything, we have a tenant moving out next week. Well, next week is no good for me. Great timing, huh?

Okay, so I'm off to get some stuff done. Hopefully the boys will calm down and help. Ha ha.

What I wouldn't give for some celery...

Yesterday was a good day - no nausea, no pain. Today, not so much. But that's okay, it's only two weeks and two days until my surgery.

In the meantime, my diet has been weird. I have found that I can't eat raw vegetables without triggering a massively painful gall bladder rebellion. I used to eat a salad for lunch every day. Instead, I've been eating cottage cheese and fruit. Not as filling. So I snack more. But again, I was used to snacking on raw vegetables (broccoli with hummus - yum!). Now it's fruit, or cheese and crackers (Kashi, of course).

I know for a few days after the surgery, I won't be able to eat "normally." But after that, I'm really looking forward to going back to my healthy eating habits. This gall bladder thing has turned out to be a pain in more ways than one!

Important issue

Today I go to the doctor to find out what he wants to do about this gall bladder of mine. So naturally, my mind is on weighty subjects this morning. Like clothing tags.

See, I just had to cut a tag out of my shirt. It wasn't in the collar, because that would be annoying. No, instead it was in the side seam of the shirt. Because it's much less annoying to have something digging and scratching at your side all day.

Here's my million-dollar idea: perforated clothing tags. Once you buy the clothing and get it home, simply tear along the dotted line. Of course, for the OCD crowd I would market a tag album, where you could keep all your tags for handy reference: next to a picture of your garment, you could fasten the original tag, for those times when you can't remember whether to dry it on high or low heat.

I just hope if I have to have surgery that the hospital gown doesn't have a stupid tag in it.

Nice weekend

We had a lovely day yesterday. I got lots of stuff done in the yard and around the house. The weather was absolutely gorgeous - lots of sun, but with a nice breeze to keep us cool. We had some rain in the evening, but by then we were all inside.

I made burgers and grilled skewers of fresh pineapple with chicken chunks, and Hubby's brothers brought hot dogs and chips, so we had quite a feast! I was still full when I went to bed.

So, how was your weekend?

Cinder-Jana

Did you ever have one of the those days when you just feel in your bones that you were supposed to be a princess and be waited on hand and foot? When just the thought of cooking your own food seems absurd and you look around the house with a disdainful eye thinking, "Someone ought to clean that up," but you're not thinking you?

It's one of those days. So I will make an extra effort not to be lazy today. My Scooba is cleaning my kitchen floor right now, but the rest is going to have to be me. Spring cleaning, here I come!

The buzzing in my ear

There is a mysterious presence in our house. It manifested itself last night in the form of a high-pitched whine. Hubby called me downstairs to see if I could help him find the source.

At first I thought it was some electronic alarm - the freezer got left open, perhaps, or the smoke alarm battery was dying. It seemed loudest in the kitchen, and not audible at all from upstairs or downstairs.

We searched the entire first floor. Nothing could be pinpointed as the source of the sound. It was 1 a.m. and we were getting freaked out.

Hubby went downstairs and turned off each breaker, one by one. The sound never stopped. It never even wavered. Finally, we decided to just go to bed.

This morning, the whine is still there. Have you ever had a continuous high-pitched whine in your ear? If I'm extra-irritable this morning, there's a good explanation.

This is ridiculous!!!!! What is that noise?????? When the boys come down, I'm sending them on a hunt. Maybe they can track it down. Argh!!

C'mon rain!

I have a headache.

I don't want to go to soccer practice tonight.

It's supposed to rain before then.

C'mon, rain!

Normal

Fake Quote of the Day:

"I think that's perfectly normal." -A. Yankovic

Hubby and I had a nice dinner out last night. You would think it would feel weird to sit down and have a meal without children complaining, yelling, singing, and all the other things my kids do at dinner. But it didn't. It felt... normal. And sometimes a mom needs to feel a little normality.

A friend and I were talking the other day about how we feel "normal" again now that we've lost our baby weight. And it's really true - I feel like me again. Only with four kids. I like to think that people see me walking through the store with the boys and think, "No way are all those kids hers! She's too young and thin!" Yes, maybe I'm delusional, but whatever gets you through the day, right?

We'll be heading home tonight, but for now I think I'm going to go do something really... normal.

Joining the Polar Bear Club

Hubby told me this morning that he ran out of hot water. This is definitely unusual, and we had noticed problems with the water heater recently. But I certainly didn't expect there would be NO hot water when I went to shower!

I did my workout as usual this morning, an hour of dancing and sweating with my girl Edyta. Then I turned on the shower and got ready to get in. I felt the water. Still cold. It often takes a moment to heat up, so I waited. Nothing. I turned on the sink, trying to get the hot water upstairs faster. Still nothing. Eventually the sink water got... slightly warm. So I'm standing there, sweaty and generally stinky, and I've got no hot water. What to do?

Right. I jumped into the cold water. I did NOT wash my hair. I was not anxious to look like one of the dead extras from Titanic with ice in my hair. I quickly soaped down and rinsed, then hopped out. I'm fully dressed now, but still shivering a little. I'm sensing a trip to Lowe's or Home Depot in our future. And now for some HOT coffee!

"Free" day

I'm feeling a lot better today, like I might actually be able to get some work done. Co-op went well today and I got to tell a few more people about my cooking blog. See, one of the reasons I started it was because people kept asking me what I was doing to lose weight. Now, I can direct them there. I got some very nice compliments today, too. One mom told me she could tell I'd been working out more. That was good to hear, especially since I've been working out an hour a day every day since January 2 and didn't see much difference myself. Sometimes it takes an outsider.

Today my goal is to get some housework done, since we don't do school at home on co-op days. I have major vacuuming and floor scrubbing, not to mention laundry and general straightening. And then I've got my samba lesson (aka my dancing workout DVD). Dude, I could SO be on Dancing With the Stars. I'm just dying to take ballroom classes now. I tend to cha-cha my way across the kitchen. The boys just roll their eyes, but you watch - one of them is going to start asking for dance lessons. You should see the 3-year-old doing the waltz steps with me!

Adios 2007

I don't know about you, but I don't really feel the need to look back at the events of last year, just because a new year is upon us. I usually have to read my blog archives to remember what in the world I did, anyway. But I can tell you how I'm feeling today, and that is hopeful for the future. I feel like this is going to be a good year. Those last eight pounds are going to come off, I'm going to finish editing one or all of my novels and looking to publish, I'm going to finish my term on my homeschool co-op's committee and take the fall semester off to recover. My twenty-year high school reunion is in October, where I will make all the guys wonder why they never asked me out.

Yep, if only it weren't an election year, I'd be pretty gung-ho about 2008. Man, I hate politics. And when I say I hate it, I mean that I secretly love it, but I don't ever discuss it in public because I hate arguing about it. I don't blog about it because there are so many other people who do it better than I could. But rest assured that just because I am not discussing it does not mean that I am not thinking about it.

Happy 2008, everybody!