DWTS meets BHB

If you are a Dancing With the Stars fan, or a Ballas Hough Band fan, or both, check this out! It's hilarious!
<a href="http://videoguide.msn.com/play/tv/?g=e7cc9a21-c1b9-45cf-9dcf-f984565dc61b&tab=NaN" target="_new" title="Exclusive: 'Do You Love Me' by Ballas Hough Band">Video: Exclusive: 'Do You Love Me' by Ballas Hough Band</a>

It's a conspiracy!

I was chatting with some fellow Dancing with the Stars fans last night during the results show. And at one point, talk of conspiracies came up. Some people seemed to think that the results are rigged. Other people thought that there was just a lot of gentle manipulation going on. I tend to frown on conspiracy theories in general. There is one conspiracy I really do believe, though, and that's the vast conspiracy of NFL fans who will borrow all of their friends' cell phones and email to vote for Warren Sapp in the finals.

So if you, like me, do not think Warren deserves that trophy, let's form a conspiracy of our own! Use every email address you have to vote for Brooke or Lance (preferably whichever one does a better freestyle). Text in those votes! Use every phone line you can get to. Let's break the NFL conspiracy that gave Emmitt Smith a trophy and almost gave one to Jerry Rice!

(All of this is, of course, negated if Warren has the best freestyle. But really, what are the odds?)

DWTS Semi-finals!

Because I know you've been waiting for my analysis of this season's Dancing With the Stars (and when I say you, I mean mostly my parents), here we go!

Last night's semi-finals were exciting, shocking, and just downright good television. I think everyone was shocked at Brooke's poor performance on the first dance. I blame the choreographer. Really, Derrick, if this is the type of thing you have in mind for the freestyle, you need to rethink your strategy. We've seen it happen before: a female dancer makes it to the final, only to be sunk by her choreographer in the end (Laila Ali, Stacy Keibler). And I have to say, I was surprised at him, because his routines have been so excellent the rest of the season. Thankfully, the salsa routine salvaged the night for her. I don't think she'll have any trouble getting to the finals.

Poor Cody. He's trying so hard. But despite the huge talent of his partner, not to mention her large base of male fans, I just don't think he's going to get to next week. While he's improved tremendously since the beginning, he's just not good enough. And missing two weeks with his partner didn't help. I feel for him, I really do, but unless his fans rally in a big way, he's going home tonight.

Warren. Ah, Warren. So much fun to watch, we forget you lack the technique. And unlike Joey Fatone, who Kym previously took to the finals, you really haven't gotten that much better over the season. Which is not to say you're not incredibly fun to watch. That's probably what's going to get you to the finals. But win? I think not. Not unless you practice, practice, practice, and even then, it's a long shot.

And then we come to Lance. Back in week one, I predicted that Lacey had what it took to whip this boy bander into shape, and hello! Did you see him last night? Twenty seconds into his first dance, I said, "The judges are going to say this is the best dance so far tonight." And they did. Absolutely amazing work. And just when you thought it couldn't get any better, they came out for their jitterbug and he rocked it with one shoe missing! I am sure this is only a small taste of the treat we'll get if Lacey gets to choreograph a freestyle routine. And I can't wait to see it.

So, to sum up, it'll be Warren, Lance and Brooke in the final. And it's going to be a good one. Stay tuned!

Fat chance

If Dancing With the Stars trivia on Twitter thinks they're going to stump me... they are so, so wrong. Bring it on, @ABC_DWTS!!

BTW, you can follow me if you want @Jana_C

Dancing recap

I know you've been waiting for my take on this season of Dancing with the Stars. I didn't watch the first two episodes until this weekend, so I figured I'd wait and form a more educated opinion this week.

My top picks this season (and keep in mind I've correctly picked the finalists every season so far) are Brooke Burke and Misty May-Treanor. None of the guys have really impressed me so far. I know my husband is rooting for Cody just so Julianne will be on there longer, but unless he steps up his game, he won't make it.

Anyway, Brooke is amazing. I can't believe that woman has four children and looks the way she looks, and on top of that, she can dance. I am highly impressed.

Meanwhile, Misty does an incredible job of transferring her athleticism to the dance floor. The paso doble was perfect for her and I thought she did a great job.

As far as the not-so-great competitors, we have a track star who can't move his hips, a chef who can't move his hips, a socialite who can't move her hips, and a comedienne who can' t move much of anything. It's kind of frightening.

The one guy I think who stands a chance is Lance Bass, and that's strictly because of Lacey. Some of you might remember Lacey from the 2007 season of So You Think You Can Dance. If anyone can whip Lance into shape, it'll be Lacey. Plus, their names are so nicely alliterative.

Reality check

(Reality television, that is)

Though I don't think I'd go as far as Simon and call it "atrocious," Jason just wasn't good last night. He needs to go. And I think the other three gave good enough performances that they won't be going anywhere. Sorry, Jason - it was fun while it lasted. David A. gave standout performances - based on singing along, he should win. But I'm still rooting for David C.

On HK, I can't say Matt shouldn't have left, BUT if you were Ramsay, could you pass up his offer to move to the girls' team? I think not. This should be interesting. I don't think he'll be doing the women any favors, but I think he's right about the men not listening to him.

And on Dancing, I can't really say I was sorry to see Shannon go last week, or Mario this week. He was good to begin with, and I don't know if he got too cocky or just wasn't able to meet the challenge, but he never really improved. I still think that it's going to come down to Kristi and Jason, though Cristian could end up there if he keeps getting the sympathy vote.

Dancing recap

Fake Quote of the Day:

"It's amazing what a little makeup can do." -T.F. Bakker

I'm not sure what happened to Priscilla Presley's face, but she looked better last night. So much better, in fact, that I was able to watch her dancing instead of gawking at her mouth. BTW, Hubby found an article talking about how PP was tricked by some phony doctor and had poor quality silicone injected into her face. So I actually feel a little sorry for her. Anyway, her tango last night was amazing.

The Gute was also quite impressive compared to his past two performances. I'm not sure it will be enough to keep him around, but he was good. Not so for poor Marissa, who seems to get worse each week. I love her energy and spirit, but she needs to step up her game if she wants to stay in this.

Kristi Yamaguchi remains my favorite. She has that gold medal winner attitude, you know? It's like the first time I saw Apolo Anton Ohno and and I said, "He's going to win this." It wouldn't surprise me at all to see Kristi win the whole thing. It could finally be a woman's turn again!

The return of Dancing

Fake Quote of the Day:

"This isn't reality; this is fantasy!" -S. Guttenberg

When yet another of the children has succumbed to the nasty stomach thing of the weekend, is it any wonder I like to escape to an alternate reality? The alternate reality of reality t.v., that is. Dancing With the Stars is back and it's looking like an exciting season!

So far, the women have the men beat. This might finally be the year for a woman to win again! I knew when I saw Kristi Yamaguchi's name on the list of stars that it would be a good season. She is really amazing - I could definitely see her taking the trophy.

I want to like Priscilla Presley, I really do. But I can't stop looking at her hideously over-Botoxed mouth.

Marlee Matlin is amazing. Simply amazing. Her dancing is easily on par with all the other good dancers, and they all have the advantage of being able to hear the music. You go, Marlee!

The only two men who have a shot are the football player (sorry, my brain automatically blocks all football players' names from sticking) and Mario. Both of them are shockingly good, though not as good as the other Mario (Lopez).

Last night, the first half of the show, the judges were ridiculously hard on people. I especially felt sorry for Steve "Dancing-is-the-key-to-world-peace" Guttenberg, who wasn't nearly as awful as they seemed to think. Monica Seles, on the other hand, is more awful than they give her credit for. You know those dance routines where one partner pretends to be a mannequin while the other one moves and poses her? It's a lot like watching one of those.

Then, the second half. I said to hubby that they must have a bottle hidden under the judges' table or something, because their moods definitely improved. The stars seemed to be taking last week's comments into account and improving their dancing, and the judges love that.

Overall, I think Monica has to go. With the men, it's a toss-up. Could be Penn, could be Adam Carolla, could be Mr. Enthusiastic Guttenberg.

"Free" day

I'm feeling a lot better today, like I might actually be able to get some work done. Co-op went well today and I got to tell a few more people about my cooking blog. See, one of the reasons I started it was because people kept asking me what I was doing to lose weight. Now, I can direct them there. I got some very nice compliments today, too. One mom told me she could tell I'd been working out more. That was good to hear, especially since I've been working out an hour a day every day since January 2 and didn't see much difference myself. Sometimes it takes an outsider.

Today my goal is to get some housework done, since we don't do school at home on co-op days. I have major vacuuming and floor scrubbing, not to mention laundry and general straightening. And then I've got my samba lesson (aka my dancing workout DVD). Dude, I could SO be on Dancing With the Stars. I'm just dying to take ballroom classes now. I tend to cha-cha my way across the kitchen. The boys just roll their eyes, but you watch - one of them is going to start asking for dance lessons. You should see the 3-year-old doing the waltz steps with me!

I give it a 30 out of 30

Everyone knows what a huge Dancing with the Stars fan I am. Well, yesterday I got Fitness With the Pros, a workout video featuring Edyta Sliwinska and Alec Mazo, two of the professional dancers from the show. I absolutely hate exercising. I really do. But I've always wanted to learn to dance like the stars on the show do. And since I'm unlikely to be asked to compete on there any time soon, I thought this would be the next best thing.

I was not disappointed. I put that DVD in this morning and got an awesome workout, while at the same time learning some key steps from the waltz, cha-cha, jive and samba. Edyta is a wonderful teacher. I think Alec is just there as eye candy, but that's okay. There's even a slow-motion feature if you're having trouble with a step, which believe me, I needed. I'm not exactly the most coordinated person on the planet. I'm not even the most coordinated person in this house.

Now let's go to the judges. Um, on second thought, let's not. I think I need more than an hour of practice before I'm ready for that!

Dancing in the dark

At 8:50 last night, the power went out. This was, of course, ten minutes before the finale of Dancing was supposed to come on. It did finally come back on a little after ten, so we got to see Helio and Julianne win! Hooray!

My five-year-old was wandering around the house with a flashlight, bemoaning the fact that he couldn't watch the movie he'd been watching. All of a sudden, he got this horrified look on his face. "Oh, no! We'll have to sleep in the dark!"

Is it wrong to laugh at your child's fears?

Dancing with the 8s and 9s

I know I'm on vacation, but I couldn't miss last night's Dancing With the Stars. And naturally, I have my prediction for you. Unless things go horribly wrong, I'm predicting Helio and Julianne as the winners.

Last night, I have to say, was probably the worst finals I've seen on this show. It was great to see the judges wielding their paddles responsibly and not handing out 10s willy-nilly. And while sometimes I disagree with them (for example, back when Mario Lopez was on and they were judging him as if he were a professional), last night they were absolutely right. Helio's footwork was off on the jive, Marie's free-style was definitely not good (though points for lots of cool lifts), and Mel B could have done SOOOO much better on her freestyle.

The reason I'm picking Helio to win is that he came in second last night. I think there will be an outpouring of votes for him that will push him up to the top spot. I really felt bad for Mel B because, just like Laila Ali last season, she could have done so much better, and frankly, Max let her down with his routine. Marie, well, I never thought she had a chance, so if she wins, I will be shocked.

So, all in all, a disappointing final round. When was the last time there were NO 30s awarded for a freestyle? I'm thinking never. Wow.

I watch too much TV, part 27

You've all probably been dying for my commentary on this season's television offerings, and I know I've been lax in this area. So sorry! Let's talk TV!

If you are watching Heroes this season, you know that, much like Lost, for every answer you get ten more questions. I think the Peter storyline this year is fantastic. He's the best one of all of them and he deserves the best story. The Hiro storyline totally made me fast-forward. SNORE! I honestly did not care what happened four hundred years ago, and I still don't understand why I should. Did they really need to spend all that time establishing that Adam is not to be trusted? The Nikki story is the same way. Oh, boo hoo, poor Nikki is too stupid to take her meds. Please. But the whole story about the older generation of heroes being killed off is great. More of that and more of Peter, please!

Then we have Journeyman. It has more than lived up to my expectations as a time travel show. I started out disliking Dan's wife, but now I love her, and I love how they've become a united front. True, neither of them is very happy with how he keeps disappearing into the past, but at least she has accepted it and they work together. And I am fascinated by the mysterious scientist who keeps showing up and hinting at reasons Dan might be traveling through time. I also love the Quantum Leap-like aspects of the show, how he never knows for sure what he's there to do, but he manages to change history for the better. I hope this show goes on for a long time.

Dancing with the Stars this season has been full of twists. I still can't believe Sabrina got kicked off so early on and Marie's still there. Of course, Marie has 20 million relatives voting for her. Now don't get me wrong, I love Marie Osmond, but I don't think she can win this thing. I think Jennie Garth is fantastic, too, and has improved SO tremendously, but again, I don't think she has what it takes to win. It's down to Helio and Mel B, and really, it's anybody's guess. I love them both and I can't pick a favorite. Hubby just likes Helio's partner, I think, but Helio is his pick for the winner.

And finally, I'm going to talk about Pushing Daisies. Here is a bizarre and clever show that had me hooked from the beginning. I love the characters, and the storybook quality of the narration. Visually, it looks very fairy tale-like, too. The mystery aspect of the show is fun. And then there's the horrible reality that Ned and Chuck (that's short for Charlotte Charles if you don't watch the show) can never touch or she will die. So bittersweet! This show is funny, beautifully done, and wickedly entertaining. If you liked Men In Black or the movie RV, this is the same director. Check it out!

More tv talk to come!

TV finale week

With all the finales this week, I just have to comment. After this week, I'll give my new projector and 80+ inch screen a chance to rest. But for now, I'm totally psyched for the finales!

Heroes (Spoiler Alert - if you haven't seen it yet, skip down)
A very satisfying ending. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time (well, not literally. I was in bed). I love that there's no BIG MYSTERY hanging over us until next season. Just a little one. Who is the man who can see Molly when she sees him? Someone worse than Sylar is pretty bad. I loved how all the heroes had to work together at the end, although in my opinion Peter kind of wimped out. He spent all that time studying with Invisible Guy, and for what? So he could learn to control his abilities. But he still couldn't. Don't worry, though, I'm sure he'll be back next season. Nathan might even be, if he just let go of Peter early enough. And speaking of Nathan, I KNEW he was really a good guy. I knew it. Very satisfying ending.

24 - Still in the middle of it - don't spoil it for me!

Dancing With the Stars - No question the winner should be Apolo and Julianne. Wow. Although I was extremely impressed with all the difficult lifts Joey and Kym did. Laila made the Stacy Keibler mistake - completely boring freestyle routine. Yawn. She will be the first to go tonight, if there is any justice.

American Idol - Even though I was sad to see Melinda go last week, I am really looking forward to the showdown between Blake and Jordin. They are both extremely talented, but Blake is something very unique to this show and I can't help but hope he wins. But honestly, just like Elliott told them last week, they're all going to have tremendous careers.

So we'll see what happens. The finale I'm really looking forward to is LOST, of course. I know they're going to leave me with a cliffhanger that will bug me all summer, but that's not going to stop me from watching it!

Bunch of stuff

Thanks to everyone who read my chapter yesterday. And if you didn't, what are you waiting for?

My oldest son had his homeschool evaluation last night. As always, the evaluator made me feel so much better about school in particular and life in general. She has a two year old also, a foster daughter, who screams just as much as my 2-yr-old, so I asked how she gets school done with that going on. She gave me a few helpful pointers, and sympathized with me in my search for a boarding preschool (just kidding - but any mom of a toddler knows what I mean). All in all, she said we're doing an excellent job, so I'm happy.

We have soccer practice tonight, which isn't terribly exciting for me, but the boys love it. While the 7-yr-old practices, the other three run around like maniacs. I should say the other four, because Hubby runs around too. At least there are other moms there to talk to. I really hit it off with one lady in particular. She's also homeschooling, and then I found out she lives on a side street from our street! I'm going to invite her over sometime - our kids seem to get along pretty well, and they can run around outside while we sit inside and chat over coffee.

Okay, on Heroes last night, how did Sylar unfreeze time? Or did Hiro just lose his concentration? That was disappointing. What's it going to take for someone to kill this guy? And why didn't Suresh kill him when he was knocked out a couple of episodes ago? Stupid.

Finally, you might have noticed I haven't picked a favorite on Dancing With the Stars this season. I can't. I like them all. Well, maybe not Billy Ray. He is an awful dancer, no matter how fun he is to watch. But I can't pick between the other four. Much like AI. I like them all. Who do you like?

Okay, enough of this randomness. I'm sure there's something I'm supposed to be doing.