Who needs 3 dozen eggs?

We went to Sam's Club last night to pick up some groceries. I can remember clearly the days when we went to regular grocery stores and bought 1 gallon of milk, 1 dozen eggs, 1 carton of orange juice. Now, ten years and four kids later, our weekly grocery shopping usually includes:

• 3-5 gallons of milk
• 3 dozen eggs
• 6 half-gallons cartons of orange juice
• 4 loaves of bread
• 6-10 pounds of apples

Monthly, we also buy some or all of the following:

• a box of 18 chimichangas
• 9 ready-made pizza crusts
• 10-20 cans of diced tomatoes
• 8-15 boxes of cereal
• 10 pounds of frozen vegetables

And those are just the things I can think of right now.

So far, only three of the boys eat regular food. And none of them are teenagers. I can envision the day in which I will need to push three or four carts through Sam's Club just to do one week's shopping. I am very scared. I wonder how many people have to take out a second mortgage to buy groceries?

If I ever make it on a game show and the host asks me how I'm going to spend the money, I've already got my response ready. "Well, I've got four boys," I'll say, "so this should feed them for about a week." I guarantee big laughs.

It's funny 'cause it's true.