Thursday, May 31, 2012

Today is a migraine day

I made a decision recently.  Migraines aren't going to ruin my life.

I know, it seems like I should have made this decision a long time ago.  I've been getting them since college.  And thanks to medication and learning what my body wants when I start to feel a migraine coming on, they are not nearly as bad as they used to be.  But they still knock me out.  If I get a migraine, it's a guaranteed three days until I feel normal again.

Having said that, most of those three days are spent in a sort of "functional" migraine, as I call it: I can do stuff (clean, cook, teach the boys) but if I let myself get agitated or stressed, it gets worse.  Of course, NONE of my daily activities agitate or stress me, right?

 But what I realized in the last few months is that I use my condition as an excuse.  I can't volunteer for that - what if I get a migraine?  I can't have people over for coffee - what if I get a migraine?  And God does not want me to live my life on what ifs.

I have prayed, asking God to take these headaches away.  I prayed this with complete faith that it would happen.  It hasn't.  But what has happened may be better.  I have learned to do what I can do while I feel well enough to do it.  I waste less time doing silly things with no eternal value.  I'm not saying I waste NO time, just less.  I have learned to take time to slow down when I need to.  I am trying to reach out to other people.  And I am learning not to feel sorry for myself.  Just reading about what Paul went through in the Bible is enough to make me feel like a petty whiner for complaining about a migraine headache, even when it's really bad and has me vomiting and in so much pain I can't sleep.  This is my thorn in the flesh, and really, it's just a tiny little one.

No comments:

Post a Comment