Thursday, May 31, 2012
Today is a migraine day
I made a decision recently. Migraines aren't going to ruin my life.
I know, it seems like I should have made this decision a long time ago. I've been getting them since college. And thanks to medication and learning what my body wants when I start to feel a migraine coming on, they are not nearly as bad as they used to be. But they still knock me out. If I get a migraine, it's a guaranteed three days until I feel normal again.
Having said that, most of those three days are spent in a sort of "functional" migraine, as I call it: I can do stuff (clean, cook, teach the boys) but if I let myself get agitated or stressed, it gets worse. Of course, NONE of my daily activities agitate or stress me, right?
But what I realized in the last few months is that I use my condition as an excuse. I can't volunteer for that - what if I get a migraine? I can't have people over for coffee - what if I get a migraine? And God does not want me to live my life on what ifs.
I have prayed, asking God to take these headaches away. I prayed this with complete faith that it would happen. It hasn't. But what has happened may be better. I have learned to do what I can do while I feel well enough to do it. I waste less time doing silly things with no eternal value. I'm not saying I waste NO time, just less. I have learned to take time to slow down when I need to. I am trying to reach out to other people. And I am learning not to feel sorry for myself. Just reading about what Paul went through in the Bible is enough to make me feel like a petty whiner for complaining about a migraine headache, even when it's really bad and has me vomiting and in so much pain I can't sleep. This is my thorn in the flesh, and really, it's just a tiny little one.