Monday, March 03, 2008

Is divorce ever right?

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis
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This month's topic for Marriage Monday: Is divorce ever right? This is a tough topic for me because I don't want to come off sounding judgmental. I am not, nor will I ever be, divorced, and that's a decision I made before I chose a husband. It's not a choice that was ever on the table, and we both agreed on that before we got married. So for me personally, divorce is never right.

But what about for other people? Well, Jesus states pretty clearly that if you are divorced and then remarried, you commit adultery. Pretty harsh, but there you have it. Now obviously, I don't advocate anyone staying married in an abusive situation. But whether they should get remarried, well, I would encourage them to search the scriptures and seek counseling before choosing to do that. Likewise, if you were divorced and remarried before becoming a Christian, you should seek counseling - I honestly don't have answers for that situation.

Remember, if you are a Christian, your marriage is to be a model of Christ's love for the church. He will never come to us and tell us things just aren't working out and He'd like to separate for a while. No matter how many times we sin, He will always take us back. He will never stop loving us. And I think that's an example we can all stand to emulate in our marriages.

14 comments:

  1. That last paragraph speaks volumes! Bless you for sharing your heart.

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  2. I love this "Remember, if you are a Christian, your marriage is to be a model of Christ's love for the church. He will never come to us and tell us things just aren't working out and He'd like to separate for a while. No matter how many times we sin, He will always take us back. He will never stop loving us. And I think that's an example we can all stand to emulate in our marriages."

    Thanks for for this post.
    Blessings,
    Angela

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  3. Amen! short and to the point!

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  4. AMEN! Yes, that's how most scripture is.. "cut and dry." Even when the WORD doesn't say what we want, it's ALWAYS BEST and we'd be wise to obey it. That reminds me of the scripture in Isaiah...

    For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.- Isaiah 55:8-9

    GREAT POST!! Thanks for not "watering down" the WORD...
    =-)

    Love,
    Tonya

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  5. I agree wholeheartedly with you. I also decided before I met my husband that divorce was not an option, even if that meant never marrying. My parents divorced and I could not put myself or anyone else through that again.

    Great job speaking the truth!!

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  6. You rock, lady. I'm so blessed to know you. :~D

    I love this: Remember, if you are a Christian, your marriage is to be a model of Christ's love for the church. He will never come to us and tell us things just aren't working out and He'd like to separate for a while. No matter how many times we sin, He will always take us back. He will never stop loving us. And I think that's an example we can all stand to emulate in our marriages.

    Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Jana.

    Hugs, e-Mom

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  7. Hi, Jana!

    I just had to comment because the statement that was made, "Jesus states pretty clearly that if you are divorced and then remarried, you commit adultery." is simply untrue.

    Here is what Jesus says, "Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." (For the context see Matt 19:3-9. See also Matt 5:31-32.)

    The exception is adultery. Not everyone who has gone through a divorce and then remarried is an adulterer. I just wanted to clarify that because some could truly see this as a stumbling block in their walk with Christ.

    I also do not believe in divorce. It is not an option for me in my marriage with my husband. However, it was unavoidable in my previous marriage consiering the numerous affairs, physical abuse, and his desire to not walk with God and stay in the marriage.

    God does not see me as an adulterer because I am now happily married to a wonderful man who wholeheartedly seeks Him. According to that statement though I am.

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  8. I do not mean to be addressing anyone's specific situation. Without getting into a deep analysis of the four gospels, Matthew is specifically addressed to Jewish people (and their customs) so there are cases where Matthew appears to disagree with the other gospels and Paul if taken outside the context of the Jewish customs. In the New Testament, everywhere else this topic is discussed, no exception is stated. An example, Luke 16:18 "Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery." Two things I wanted to note: notice it does not say that being divorced is a sin, it says that doing something after being divorced is a sin.

    Again, as I said at the end of my second paragraph, I cannot speak to anyone's specific situation. I am not a counselor or pastor. I would encourage anyone who is having difficulty with this issue to seek counseling, particularly if they are finding it to be a stumbling block.

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  9. I would second what Amy B said. I don't think God will judge someone who leaves a marriage under certain circumstances, such as what has been mentioned... but my husband and I also have discussed that divorce is not an option... We know that there have been points in our marriage in the past 10 years where others would have called it quits. We're glad we made the decision before hand that divorce simply wasn't on the table. We worked through it and have been blessed as a result.

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  10. Prayer can do amazing things for a marriage. And God can move mountains when we call on his name.

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  11. Hard, hard subject. It is as it's written ... but

    I can't help but think of the Jews angrily throwing the woman down in front of Jesus all ready to stone her. He wrote on the ground.. and I always wonder whether or not He was writing the laws then asking them.. whichever of you that are without sin, throw the first stone.

    I believe that before the gift of the Holy Spirit's constant presence in our hearts sin had to be dealt with harshly -for keeping evil at bay. Previous to Christ's gift - freedom - this was the way to control the evil one's influence.

    I talk to my husband so much about the spiritual realm and all that is there that we can never physically see. I strongly believe that sin when lived out brings down curses/damnation on those that don't have the HS. This can be seen in the gospels with the stories of the demon-possessed.

    And what does this have to do with divorce? I don't know, I just feel strongly a condemning spirit and even if you don't mean it to be so, it is definitely felt.

    Yes, Christians should be an example --- an example of how much we all need our loving Savior. He is so good to us.

    I pray that all Christian couples everywhere will overcome the wiles of the evil one, will see it as that and put on the whole armor of God to resist him... but when they don't, and when we fall - then someone needs to be there to help them back up, just as Christ helped the woman back up after her accusers left - one by one.

    God bless.

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  12. Tee - and I never said that. I said I would not expect someone to stay in an abusive situation and then I said I would recommend counsel because I don't have the answers.

    Connie Marie - I have said multiple times that I can't speak to the situation of any specific person, and I haven't condemned anyone. I said if anyone has a specific situation, they should seek counsel, because I don't have the answers. If I were in a situation where I found it necessary to divorce, and then I wished to be remarried, I would seek counseling first, and so should anyone who sees this as a question.
    I have said that we are to be examples of Christ's love. Nowhere did I say or imply that divorced people should be condemned. My own brother is twice divorced. There are couples in my church who were divorced and remarried. I don't think I'm better than them. I don't snub them because of it. In fact, one of the ladies is a dear friend. And I have said many times that no sin is worse than any other sin. We are all sinners. I sin on a daily basis. It would be stupid of me to condemn people for one thing while I'm doing things all the time for which I need to ask forgiveness. I just think it's a good rule of thumb to take Jesus at his word, and study further when I have questions. Clearly, I should never have touched this topic.

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  13. No! I am glad you wrote on this subject. I appreciate your words and your thoughts.

    As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Keep on writing! Make us think. We will all grow sharper and seek to know the heart of God when we are challenged. Thanks for your words.

    (You know that we all have thought the same thing in approaching this subject of divorce, afterall it comes from God's word.)

    Blessings Jana.

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