The only logical explanation

Okay, as some of you may remember, I lost my keys a while back. I searched the trash cans, I looked behind furniture, I looked places they couldn't possibly have been. I can't find them. Up until yesterday, I was positive that my 3-year-old had absconded with them and hidden them in some secret treasure box known only to him. Then suddenly, it hit me: the only logical explanation.

Every day, I spend a good hour or more cleaning my house. And every night, it looks about the same as it did before I cleaned it. Toys everywhere, food on the floor, random sippy cups scattered about, dirty clothes tossed near, but not in, the hamper. What could be responsible for this chaos? Surely not my darling sons.

It must be gremlins.

The only question was, how were they getting in? Answer: my keys. The day I lost them, I was distracted. I laid my keys on the counter instead of hanging them up out of gremlin reach. The gremlins took my keys. Then at night, after we were all asleep, they silently unlocked the front door and came in to check things out. No one about? Good. Let the destruction begin.

They've made their way into my car, as well. They left the interior lights on one night so the battery died. They spread peanuts all over the floor. They dumped a package of diapers I kept in there. They chewed all my gum.

Now, I know what you're thinking. How can I be so sure it was gremlins? You're right, I can't. I'm part Irish, so it could be leprechauns.