Thursday, June 01, 2006

In which I slowly lose my mind

I have been debating something for a while now, and I'd love to hear some feedback from everyone, especially those who keep their children home for the purpose of educating them.

My second son, Joshua, started out kindergarten absolutely thrilled to be "doing school" like his older brother. He was usually finished the entire day's lessons in about an hour and a half. He did really well with everything. But this year, first grade, has brought a big change in his attitude. He never wants to come into the school room (I have a separate room in the house just for school). When he does, he wants to take control of the computer and surf Lego websites. It takes me an hour and a half just to get through one lesson with him. Frequently this year, we have started school at 9:30 a.m. and, including lunch, not finished until 4 p.m. It's been tremendously frustrating for me because that leaves no time to work with my older son, not to mention keep house and cook dinner.

Near us is a very good Christian school, where quite a few of the young people at our church attend. Joshua is definitely the type of child who would love being in a classroom with other kids. I'm sure it would be an adjustment for him, but he would do fine eventually. If we sent him there, I would have all day to work with my fifth grader, not to mention more time to keep up the house and play with my younger two boys. He would learn not only his lessons, but also why it's more fun to be home all day than stuck in a classroom, and maybe he would be more receptive to staying home for third grade.

On the other hand, if we sent him there, we're tying ourselves to the school's schedule. We can't just take off whenever we want to. And I would have to be here when he gets off the bus every day. Not that I'm not home normally at that time, but I like having the freedom to go out if I want. And then there's the matter of tuition, which is reasonable, but still would make a dent in our budget that would mean cutting back on things like weekend trips to the amusement park or buying DVDs. Not that we need those things, but it's nice to have the option. Plus, he would be away from his brothers all day. He and his older brother are best friends and I hate to take that away from either of them.

So my other option is to keep him at home, but switch curriculum. Maybe he would do better with unit studies, or something less structured than what we've been doing. I'm leaning toward this option because I think he really benefits from being at home and having one-on-one interaction with his teacher.

But on the con side, what if I keep him home and he continues his rebelliousness? I had a neighbor years ago who kept two of her kids home and sent the other to school because she didn't have a "teachable spirit." I never understood what that meant until this year with Joshua. He doesn't want to be taught. You would not believe the struggles we have had this year. If he continues this way no matter what the curriculum, I will lose my mind. And it's not fair to Caleb, who needs more time from me than he can get when I have to spend all day fighting with Joshua.

So I really don't know what to do. Should I put him in school for half a year maybe? Or keep him home and then put him in school if he can't behave? Or just pick one or the other? I'm so confused! Any help would be appreciated!

2 comments:

  1. Jana, I admire what you do but since I don't also do it, I don't really feel my opinion should count. I'll give it nevertheless.

    I think you should keep on trying - try a curriculum change - try teaching him differently than his brothers. Is he looking at LEGO sites because he loves LEGOs? Maybe he's a tactile learner and needs more hands on things to keep him intersted.

    My son Nick goes through phases of not liking school and loving school. He goes to public school and is bright and gets very good grades but prefers hands on activities. Some teachers provide that, some don't. Some parts of the day provide it, some don't... and I think it's healthy to make them understand, it can't always be their way. When they have a job as an adult they won't always get projects they enjoy, know what I mean?

    I think since you have the others home and you're doing so great - you should try some other tactics before putting him in a regular classroom away from home. It would be such a shame to ruin the freedom you have, you know?

    It may be a passing phase or he may always be a bit difficult. Keep us updated! {HUGS}

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  2. Tee - Thanks! It helps me to know what kids in regular school have problems or issues with. He does love Legos, but during math lessons when I use manipulatives like counters and blocks, it just seems to distract him from the lesson. I don't know...

    But I am starting to think I will keep him home.

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