I was just asking for trouble

Hubby is away for another week of training in the quest for his 6 Sigma black belt. The kids and I went to church on Sunday night, and then to the grocery store. I wouldn't have gone at all but we were out of milk and bread. If you've never gone to the grocery store with four boys, you should try it. I'll be happy to lend you mine. Needless to say, we had several knock-down, drag-out fights over the grocery cart shaped like a truck. It wasn't exactly like this one, but pretty close.

Now, whoever invented these things obviously intended for the user to have a maximum of three children along, and all of them should ideally be less than six years old. This in no way stopped my nine year old from claiming one of the seats inside the truck, despite the fact that his knees were by his chin. Once he was inside, it was clear that the six year old would never fit next to him, so the three year old got to ride in the truck, the baby went in the traditional child seat, and the six year old got in the basket. What's wrong with this picture? Yeah, no room for food. I put the milk under the cart, and packed everything else around the boy in the basket.

Now, while I was trying to shop, Joshua (6) decided he would make his own shopping list. He brought paper and a pen with him and wrote down the things he wanted. The problem was that he doesn't write very fast. So rather than stand in the same spot for ten minutes while he copied words off of food packages, I spelled for him as we walked. Meanwhile, Caleb (9) was "driving" the cart/truck and insisted he had the power to start, stop, speed up and slow down. So our trip through the store sounded much like this:

J - Wait, go back, I want that on my list!
C - No going back. I'm driving. Go faster!
Me - I don't want to go faster, I want to buy what I need and go home. What did you see, Joshua?
J- Fruit by the foot. How do you spell fruit?
Me - F...
C - Faster!
J - Then what?
Me - R. Oh, I need cereal.
C - Stop! Reverse!
J- Then what? Mommy? Then what?
Me - Um, U
J - I accidentally wrote an O. Now what?
Me - I
J - But I wrote an O.
Me - That's okay. I.
C - I said reverse!

And then, when we were finally about to leave the store, we had another argument as Joshua realized he hadn't had a turn inside the truck yet. We were at the store less than an hour, but it felt like a lot longer.

Normally when Hubby is gone, even during the day while he's at work, I don't go anywhere. Now I remember why.