Someone is trying to kill Jerry Springer. It may be a conspiracy, I'm not quite sure.
Week after week, we have watched him dance the samba, the waltz, the paso doble. Week after week, he is clearly falling apart. And yet he keeps coming back. This week he was barely able to dance. Next week he has to do TWO dances. Are they insane? I don't know how old he is, but I do know he's too old for a serious dance competition. He's not going to win, so why do people keep voting for him?
Let the poor man go home. Or his epitaph may read, "His fans killed him."