Monday, February 05, 2007


My college roommate and I were very close. I kind of thought of her as the sister I never had. We lived together all four years, we toured England together, and she was the maid of honor in my wedding. We kept in touch for quite a while after that, but she was always busy with school, first an MA, then a PhD, and I was busy, first with work, then with kids. Eventually, I didn't hear from her anymore and I lost track of her.

So I open up my college alumnae magazine on Friday and what do I see? Not only has she gotten married, she had a baby last May! And maybe I shouldn't, but I feel hurt. I mean, she was my maid of honor, and I don't even rate an invitation to her wedding? And even if they eloped, I'm sure they sent out baby announcements. But I never got one. I know we've moved a lot, but I also know that I've put my email address in the alumnae magazine on more than one occasion. Not to mention the college maintains a website with all the alumnae's current addresses in it. She could have found me.

You know, I sent her announcements for every one of my kids.

I don't know if I should just continue the way I have, or if I should email her. Or maybe I should go to our 15 year reunion in June and see if she's there. She lives right in the same town, so she probably will be. I don't know. What would you do?


  1. I think I would write her, letting her know you saw the news. It is possible she just didn't know where to look for you, or she just didn't think about it with all the excitement. but hearing from you may be a big surprise. Who Knows, maybe you guys can start back where you left off.

    Goodluck! and thanks for the belated Birthday wish.

  2. OUCH - that does hurt.

    but I agree with cat - you should write to her and let her know you saw the news. Perhaps she is "clueless" about where you are and has wanted to get in touch. You never know.

  3. I'm sorry you feel hurt. I've had a similar experience. I continue to reach out to my "estranged" maid-of-honor... we keep in touch but it's not like it used to be. She's not a Christian, and I sometimes wonder if that plays a role in her "scarcity." I also wonder if she feels angry with me for something I'm not aware of. Chances are pretty good that's true. (((Hugs)))

  4. Hmmm...women are funny like that aren't we? We fall in love, and get all caught up with that, and all of a sudden are like "girlfriend who?" when it comes to gals we used to be close with. I agree with Cat...write to her. Congratulate her, and I bet she'll love to catch up. I am guessing she just got "caught up" in life, as it sometimes happens. Yes, hurtful. Definitly not unforgivable though.