This is my second son playing soccer (boy, I'd be rolling in bonus points if the letter were "S" this week). Isn't he cute? Look how he's way out in front, no one anywhere close to him, taking that ball to the goal!
But what I really wanted to talk about was that woman in the red shirt in the back left. That's his soccer coach. I'm pretty sure she's actually Allison Janney.
Now, I know you're thinking, "What would an Emmy-award winning actress, star of the series "The West Wing" and voice of Peach the Starfish in "Finding Nemo" be doing on a soccer field in rural Pennsylvania?" Let us examine the evidence, shall we?
First of all, she has the exact same voice. The first time I met her, I could almost hear her reading the instructions for the Aquascum 3000. Scary. Second, she is very tall. According to IMDb, Ms. Janney is also very tall, a statuesque 6'. Third, she looks very much like her. Not exactly, but she's an actress. That could be makeup.
Now, all of that could be considered coincidence, were it not for other suspicious things I've noticed. First of all, she has a "husband" and a "son" who coach and play on the team, respectively. The "husband" is very white, as is she. The "son" looks Indian. Obviously, he could be adopted or the child of a previous marriage. But I think a more logical conclusion is that the two of them are local actors helping to give her legitimacy as she studies for a role as a soccer coach in an upcoming film or tv project. Second, the phone number she's given us is a cell phone. Which means when I call her, she could be here, or she could be in Hollywood at an awards dinner. Who knows?
And finally, she is just way too into this coaching thing. She actually seems to enjoy it. If that doesn't scream, "I'm going to be getting paid beaucoup bucks to play this role in a few months," I don't know what does.